Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all my readers.  It was a good Christmas at our house.  I felt much better this year.  Last year I was one month into radiation.  It is always amazing what a difference a year can make, both good or bad.  I would not want this Christmas to go by without remembering  the reason for the holiday.  Even as we exchange gifts with friend and family, our Lord and Savior came to earth as a baby.  He would go on to die on the cross for my sins.  It was the ultimate present.
 I went bowling this evening with my Dad and son.  Now, I don't bowl well, but it was great fun.  Last year I would have had enough strength  to bowl.  Again, don't give up, next year will be different. I count it a privilege for my 17 year old senior to be able to bowl next to his grandfather.  Cherish family and all the small things too.
Have a great holiday season.

Keep fighting,

Cathy

Snow Day

This past week we had 15 1/2 inches of snow.   This allowed my Christmas vacation to start 2 days early!  Of course there was shoveling etc. My boys and husband did most of that.  I did help a little.  The new fallen snow reminds me of being cancer free.  The old germs are gone and a new blanket of clean cells are here!  I love this season of the year.  As a music teacher there are of course lots of programs.  Last year I wore my wig to the two school programs.  I was afraid when I directed it would come flying off.  Of course it didn't.  The kids had seen me bald, but not the parents so I felt I needed to wear my seldom used expensive wig.  It really was a waste of money.  This year I could go with my newly cut short gray haircut.  It proves how different a year can be. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or something -else enjoy it with your family.  Cherish every minute.  Tell your family you love them.  I think of the tragedy in Newtown, CT and remember not to leave the house without saying I love you.   We will enjoy the snow and time with family....you do that too!


Keep Fighting,

Cathy

Time for others

Well, last year at this time I was in my second week of radiation.  What a difference a year can make.  This past weekend I took a friend to the store shopping.  This was different because she is going through health issues and had been in the hospital for a week and her home for one.  I pushed her around in a wheelchair, just like I had been pushed around the previous year.  I remembered how things look different in the store when you are in a chair rather than standing.  Helping someone out seems so much easier once you have been in their shoes.  It helps you see things differently.  She mentioned to me, " why didn't you say something about all you went through"?  She has been dealing with dr appts, insurance etc  We don't want to ask someone to help.  It seems like the braver thing to do.  Once you have been through it , you know what it takes and how it can wear on you.  What can you do for someone today?   A simple car ride is a great thing for someone who can't drive.  The lights are beautiful this time of year.  They would be prettier with snow,  but it is nice not having snow yet.

Some of the greatest gifts don't cost money, just your time.  

I did it!

I told you that I wanted to go on a hike and I did.  I will put some pictures of the hike on this post. It was a beautiful day, and perfect to connect with nature.  My son and I enjoy taking pictures so we turned this into a photo safari.  It is amazing how a simple task like walking can become so exhilarating.
We decided if it is not snowing next year, we will hike somewhere again.  When I think how I felt last Thanksgiving and compare it to this year, it shows that perseverance pays off.  I was looking at beginning radiation last year and not being able to travel for Christmas.  That was a somber event in my life.  This year, I am out hiking and rejoicing.  I know that there are tired days and aches. You have to look at the whole picture and be the optimist.  If you or someone is in  the middle of treatment, remind them that the future is bright.  It might be a long trial and seem like it never ends, but the sun will come out.

Keep Fighting

Cathy

Happy Thanksgiving

I know that it has been well over a week since I wrote.  It seems like everyday is busy.  I am going to get to it, but my going never happens.  It might be that I haven't exercised like I was going to either.  I There is always a good excuse!  I did walk tonight.  It was about 50 and a little misty , but that was ok.
As we head into the holiday season I am reminded how thankful I am to be feeling better and doing well.  Sure, I am tired and feel worn out at times, but I am alive and with my family.  I have many things to be thankful for.  I remind myself often to take one day at a time.  My motto is "Don't stress out over Thanksgiving and the holidays."  Your family is just glad that you are there. We are not doing anything special as a family.  I was thinking of going on a hike.  I know that sounds strange.  I haven't been on a hike for a long time and have been thinking of taking one.  Don't ask me why because I have no idea.  I know last year it would have been impossible.  It is suppose to be warm which can be unusual for November in Wisconsin.  I'll write and let you know if I start a new tradition. By the way, I did not make that bread.  You know I am not a cook.  My oldest son (22) made it.  It was yummy.

Why do we put off exercise?

    This week just flew by.   I am being to ask my family about Christmas!  It is coming.  A good thing is that tonight we set the clocks back and get one more hour of sleep.  This week I was trying to fight a cold.  I might have won this battle, but I know another one will be around the corner.  I went for a walk tonight and my son said, it's too cold out there.  I told myself that all day, but finally gave in and put on my winter coat and mittens.  It was fine.  Why when I know that exercise is especially important, I still put it off?  What is it about exercise that we can rationalize not doing it?   I am so guilty of this. It is like a roller coaster. I do good and then I fall back. We know that weight and reoccurrence of cancer are linked, but why is it so hard?   I hope next week I can tell you that I did better.  You will have to check back to see.  In the mean time, enjoy that extra hour of sleep.

Keep fighting,

Cathy

Someone Like Me

 I was at a conference today looking at the exhibits when I met someone else who had lympedemia.  I have been wearing my sleeve for a year, but have never seen anyone with one on too! I am not glad this person had a sleeve, but it was nice to talk directly to someone who understands.  We were able to chat for a little while and I learned that she was a 7 year survivor.  She used to wear a glove, but now does not have too.  It made me realize that maybe this is a phase for me.  While we were talking, a passerby overhead and told us that she was a one year survivor also.  There is an immediate bond with fellow survivors.   Embrace that bond and encourage each other.  We are the ones who know first hand.  Although each instance is different, we can help each other.

Keep Fighting

Cathy

October is flying by

This month is flying by so fast.  I can not believe that October is almost over!  This means the Christmas season will and snow will be upon us soon. Just a note incase you have not heard, JC Penney's Hair Salon are giving free haircuts this month to any cancer survivor.  You still have time to call for an appointment.  I am going to try this Saturday.
My lymphedemia is still alive and thriving.  I have learned that to massage your arm, it is easier to do it in the shower, when your hands are soaped up.  I don't wear a sleeve at night, so I am going to try to wrap my arm at night to see what will happen.  Maybe it will help.  I know this is all trial and error, but sometimes it gets long.  I need to remember , I am still here and can use my hands so don't whine.
Remember to thank your family when they do something for you.  I just thanked my son for something as simple as doing homework.  We sometimes forget that they need to feel appreciated too.  I want them to remember things like this long after they leave home.  Things like mom cared when I.......
It works for co workers, friends and relatives.

New Compression Sleeve

I have a new compression sleeve for special occasions.  It is fun to wear, but since it is not custom for me, I can wear only for a few hours at a time.  I enjoy seeing various reactions to the sleeve.  Women seem to like it and men shake their heads, like I am crazy.  That is probably true.  I thought you might like to see it too!

Keep fighting,

Cathy

Blah week

I have had a blah week.  I have been extremely fatigued and dizzy at times.  The anti dizzy meds makes me more tired.  Which one is worse?  I know that some weeks will be better than others.  I am entering a stressful time of year with several music programs that I am in charge of.  The key is remembering one day at a time.  Why is this concept so hard to live by?  I should have learned by now.  One knows that this is necessary concept when dealing with cancer.
I talked awhile back about my tribute vest.  I haven't decided if it works or not, but I had to take it in to be refitted.  Hopefully I will notice a difference when I get it back.  I will also to see if it makes a difference not wearing it while it is being remade.  I know it will be cooler!  If anyone has one , I would love to hear what you think about it.
This week is packed with activities, but I am thankful that I can go to them.  Reminders of this help me feel not so tired and overwhelmed.  It is amazing what a good attitude can do for you.
I hope all of you have a great week.  I plan on it.


Keep fighting,

Cathy

    Fall is here.  Today it was chilling.  Last weekend we were able to go to county park and see the beautiful trees with their awesome colors.  I am glad I live where there are seasons that have visible change. Sometimes the snow grows old.  The leaves remind me that life has changes.  There is something special in each era of live. Enjoy whatever part of live you are in now.  The Lord has made each era special.

      I've had a very busy week. It seems like the weekend goes by so fast too!  Why is that?  I must be looking somewhat normal.  A friend and I went in a local ice cream shop today.  The lady who waited on me is someone I only know casually   She said to me"you cut your hair! It looks nice."  I just smiled and said thanks.  My friend and I just looked at each other and smiled.   

    It does get tiring when strangers ask about my arm and glove.  I don't mind talking about it with friends and people that know me.  I know they really care and are concerned and praying for me.  I had a salesman bring it up three times the other day.  I just brushed it off every time.  It just became almost rude.  I need to become more patient.  The kids at school ask often, but that doesn't bother me. They are  young, concerned and truly want to know.  It is good for them to learn.  Lymphedemia  is not  well known by others.  The more people learn, the more they will understand. When I am shopping etc. I look for others who might be in sleeves and gloves, but I don't seem to see anyone.  There are no doubt others out there.  I would love to talk to them and find more tips for treating it.  

Keep fighting!

Cathy

Remember the Past and Look to the Future

     I read a quote this week that stated we should forget the past and only look forward.  I do not agree with this idea.  If we forget the past we will repeat it.  Don't forget that the yearly mammogram caught your cancer. Remind others to make sure they get checked.  It could be the same for them.  Don't forget all you have gone through when you are not feeling so hot.  Those days of chemo etc. were far worse.  You made it through that, so anything else is a piece of cake.  Remember all the cards and acts of kindness during your treatments.  Maybe you can do the same for someone else.
     Look forward to more birthdays and time with your family.  Look forward to doing all those "fun" things you want to do.  Look forward to a brand new day.

                                                         

Keep fighting!

Cathy

Happy Birthday

Friday was my birthday.  It was one of the few times I was actually glad to be a year older.  I was happy, because I am a survivor. I  get tears when I think of my birthday  Last year I wondered if I would still be here. Count everyday as a blessing and use it to the best of your ability. My boys who are 17 and 22 brought me roses to school.  The class was so impressed.  I am proud of them and how they have handled all of this.  They also surprised me with a birthday present that was not what I expected.   This past 15 months have taught me that physical things are not important. They just get dusty, broke or put aside after awhile. Relationships are important. Spend time with your family. They are there through the hard times as well as the good.  It was also the anniversary of my lymphedemia.  Last year on my birthday the swelling began. It has been a long road of learning how to address the issues it creates, but I think I am beginning to understand how to control it.  I look back this past year and I am so thankful.      

Thursday I actually had my hair "styled".   I told everyone that I was getting a new look for my birthday.  The hair dresser charged me half price since it only took half the time.  I really only got the back shaped, since it was the longest(how do you say very short) and very little anywhere else.  I think it looks nice and since it has been a long time since I needed a haircut, it made me feel good.   I actually used a brush on my hair this morning.  The first time in 13 or so months! I only used it very lightly and sparsely.
Just as the waves crash against this coral, the water flows over and continues.  That how survivors handle life.  We might crash against the coral, but we keep on going.

Thanks for reading and I hope it is an encouragement to you.

Cathy

It takes time

I was reminded again this weekend that it takes time to get over "post radiation".  I was so tired this Saturday, I couldn't even go shopping!  That means I don't feel good.  I was upset about it being a Saturday and I wanted to get things done.  My husband had to remind me all that I have gone through. I know I forget and think I am superwoman  (which I am but.......)  Don't be hard on yourself if you don't  feel good.  It takes time.  It can take well over a year after radiation to be yourself.  Others understand if you can't do everything.  I have trouble remembering that......This blog is preaching to myself as well as encouraging others.  Have a great day...Each day is a gift from God.  This is true for those who have not been through cancer too!   Enjoy your day.

I Can, not I Can't

I was thinking this weekend of things I can do.  As I was in the grocery store and lifting grocery bags into the cart with my good arm, I reminded myself of things I can do.  We need to focus on the positive rather than negatives everyday.  Here are a few of my examples:

1.  I can't wear my rings due to the swelling in my fingers (including my wedding band) , but I can kiss my husband goodnight.

2.  I can't bike miles like I did before, but I can still ride my bike shorter distances and am getting stronger at walking farther distances without tiring.

3.  Last year I was completely tired and hurt every day.  Today I am not quite as tired and the aches are not as bad.

4.  I still can talk to my boys and give them advice.

5. I still can drive to the store and shop.

6.  Even though my fingers can ache and my arm swells, I still can play the piano and organ.

I am thankful for all that I can do.  The list could be endless. Focus on all the things you can do.  It will give you a better attitude and be healthy for you.

911

As we remember 911, let remember all the brave heroes that gave all to help complete strangers.  This is a great example of the American Hero.  Many of those who survived or helped that day have been diagnosed with cancer.  Jut as we have been diagnosed without knowing why we have cancer, they contracted cancer by helping others on 911.  Terrorist tried to destroy America , but our American heroes  would not let them win no matter what the cost.  Thanks to all for what they have done and God Bless America.

Another case

Yesterday I was told of another case of cancer.  It seems to be coming more and more.  I wonder if that is what is happening or is it we are more aware. Does the  way we communicate through email, phones, and interent give us that awareness?  As a survivor reach out to those who have joined our ranks.  It would be nice if they didn't have to go through this, but I have come out stronger.  I have become more compassionate to those in need I think.  Listen, listen, listen to others.  Lend an ear.  I did find an interesting website the other day.   www.breastcancer.org   I found lots of interesting ideas under the discussion boards.  We are not alone. No one should feel alone during this time.   It sometimes is hard to know what to say, but just be yourself and it will be fine.  Even as there are two flowers in the picture, side by side.  Let's walk side by side with those who need us.

First Day Back to School

Today was my first day back to school for the fall.  I am tired.   It was interesting to hear the all the comments about my hair.  Last year , I came back bald.  So, the current 1st graders have never seen me with hair.   Today there were lots of comments about my hair growing.  A few questions of why it is gray!  I told them we don't talk about that.  If you have lost hair, just be patient.  It will come back.  Mine is slow, but steady.   Don't worry about it.  I think about all the money I have saved, not getting my hair colored or done.  Now that everyone has seen me gray, I don't see the need to color it.  The truth is out!  The truth will always come out.   I have determined that hair is overrated.  The real you is the most important part.  You are still who you were, with or without hair.  I have found that many things are not nearly as important as I thought they were.  Cherish your family and friends.  Love life and keep fighting.  Don't let cancer win.  I know we have days that we are tired, or not feeling well. You might feel like the water is rushing over the brink of the falls. Remember the sun will come out tomorrow.   Talk to you soon.  Cathy

Our amazing bodies

I have been sick for the last week.  It was not cancer related, just life related.  As a was having many aches etc. it reminded of last summer and how sick I was after chemo and when I got my shots to build my white count.   The shots would make me ache everywhere....even where you thought it was impossible to ache.   I had forgot all about those aches.  It is amazing how we can forget so quickly.  If you are going through chemo now remember it does get better.  It might seem impossible, but if the treatments go like they should, it all gets better.  Yes, we might not be exactly like we were before cancer, but we can get to the place were we have a "normal " life.  Even as the water flows across these hands in the hospital gardens,  our bodies can be refreshed also.  The Lord created them in an amazing way to heal.

Tell them you love them

It has been awhile since I wrote.  No excuse, I was always going to write tommorrow.  Since then I know of at least three deaths that really made me think.  None of them were related to cancer,but they make an impression on you.   Tell your family you love them.   You never know when it might be the last time.  Two of the deaths I was thinking of we're unexpected.  They thought they had a long life in front of them.  It is easy to take life for granted.   Treasure it and your family and friends.  
I try not to make this blog religious, but, are you ready for eternity?  You need Christ as your  Saviour.  if you want to talk more about this, email me.   Have a good day and tell them you love them.

Trust Your Doctor

Doctors become a very important part of our lives.  Find one that you like and trust.  I needed to remind myself of that today. I picked the doctor I did because I trusted her.  When they suggest a plan of treatment, I put myself into their hands.  Don't be afraid to find a different doctor if they don't "click with you".  I remember last year before my surgery, I met a doctor that didn't click with me.  He probably was a great doctor, but not for me.  I went back to the main surgeon and express my concern and was referred to another doctor.  Later during my chemo treatments, my oncologist left the facility and I needed a new doctor.  I met two, one laid back and one more controlling.  I picked one and am happy with my choice.   My point of writing is back to the theme of trust.  The doctor literally helps you make life and death decisions.  Today when I knew what she was going to say about my treatments, I knew that she was right even though I didn't want to hear what she needed to say.  It comes back to that trust.  You make sure when you do repair work on your car or house that you trust the person working on your item.  Doctors are the same.  I trust the Lord first, but he will give me wisdom to choose the doctor or plan of treatment that is best for me. 

Sorry I haven't posted, but I was at an education conference in Bozeman, Montana.  It was a great week and I learned many things for my classroom.  I also learned many things about friendship.  If you are like me, you don't want the cancer or your illness to be a burden to anyone else.  I again realized I have made incredible friends.  One of the days of the trip we went to Yellowstone National Park.  I hadn't been there for 20 some years and it was good to see the geysers again.  One evening we participated in a version of "amazing race".  I was having trouble that week with breathing and fatigue. I tried to get out of the race, but they were willing to have me on the team.  We did a great job, but towards the end, I just could not breathe.  They begged the university for a wheel chair and took turns wheeling me to the finish line!  We didn't win, but we got the team spirit award!   Even after chemo and radiation we still will have bad days.  Remember tomorrow is a new day and don't be afraid to ask a friend for help.  Friends don't forget to ask if they need help.
I am still looking for some comments on lymphedemia.  Any little ideas on how you manage this problem would be great .  We all learn from each other.  Just post them in the comment sections.

Keep Fighting Cancer


Cathy

Lymphedemia

I didn't know much about lympedemia last year, but this year I know so much more.   I remember years ago seeing someone who was going through cancer treatment having a really big arm.  I now know it is much more than that. If you research the topic on the internet there is not a lot of information on the topic.  From experience I learned that when they remove the lymph glands you can get swelling in the area.  It can happen right away or after years. Mine started on my birthday which was about 4 months from my surgery.  What a birthday present!   My fingers and hands on the side of my surgery started to get bigger and bigger.  It was obvious what the problem was.  To treat the problem there are compression sleeves, and massages.  Lymphedemia can be in other parts of the body depending on where the lymph nodes were removed.   I have been going through flare ups where the sleeve won't fit and then I need to wrap my arm with special bandages.  I look like a mummy in my arm.  My family has been so good about helping me wrap my arm.  Some people can wrap themselves, but it is not easy at all!
This week I started trying a tribute sleeve to help the swelling.  It offers compression to the area.  I am hoping that will really relieve some of the problems.  Time will tell.
One of the things I have noticed is people do not about this condition.,  I am asked at least once a day by a stranger " what happened to your arm"  or   "how did you do that".  They all think it is an injury.  It is hard to always answer the questions and many times I will say " it's not so bad" or something really generic.
I would like to hear from others who are dealing with this problem.  We can swap ideas on controlling the situation.  I will write more about this another day.
Remember keep fighting.  You are worth it!!!!


Cathy

Tired?

Do you feel tired?  I am always feeling tired.  I remembered when I was first going through chemo how exhausting it was.  You can not even begin to feel how tiring it is.  Think of the most tiring day you have had and multiply it by 100.   I remember how it was hard to move and every inch of my body ached.  Now after several months I still get tired, but some of those bad days are becoming a faded memory.  The doctors blame it on post radiation or post chemo.  It sounds like an  excuse except, if you think of all the chemicals that were put in your body during chemo and radiation, it makes sense.    I just know that little by little things are getting better.  I am thankful that the doctors know how to fight the cancer and there is light at the end of the tunnel. So if you are feeling tired, remember little by little things will get better. Keep fighting!  YOU ARE A WINNER !  If you know someone in this situation, help them out. You can run an errand, babysit, make a meal, clean or just be their friend. Give someone a call or send them a card. Remember, they may be getting better, but they still cherish your prayers and friendship.

THERE ARE NO STRANGERS

WITH CANCER THERE ARE NO STRANGERS!

   Yesterday I received a phone call from a complete stranger.  We talked for about 1 hour.  What makes this call special was they she was a cancer survivor too!   Once you have cancer, your life changes forever.  You are  member of a special group of people.  These people understand and have been through many of the same things you have been through.
    As we talked, we weren't strangers anymore.  We could relate to many of the same pains, side affects,  procedures, and many more things.   You can learn so much for other survivors.  Don't close yourself in and be afraid to share.  Sometimes that sharing will bring tears to you and others, but that is ok.  I cry when I am happy, sad, and when I feel for someone else.
    One thing we both realized, that sometimes friends of cancer patients do not know how to react or what to do.   Our goal is to set them at ease.  We are still the same person, just with cancer.  Let them ask questions, cry and try to help.  It is good for them too!  They need to feel that they are helping you.  They want to help.
    When people first asked me what they could do, I would always nothing, just pray.  Now I am a firm believer in prayer and it is very, very important.  I cherish every prayer for me.  It is humbling to think that they took their time to pray for me and I was that important to them.  God will answer those prayers and honor those who prayed for me.
     They also want to do something physical.  Let them.  It might be a meal or pick up the kids.  Any task will let them feel included.  It is hard to let go and let others help.  It was a hard lesson for me to learn, but I can be a blessing to others by letting them be a blessing to me.
     It's good for your family too!  They need to know that all the extra weight is not on them.  This is just as hard for them.  I think sometimes we forget that they are fighting with us.  They have the same fears, cares, and emotions.

     We are all in this together.  We can overcome. Help someone today.  You will forget some of your problems and be a blessing at the same time.   One thing I have learned in this past year, is that there is always someone who is worst off than me.  I need to be thankful for the trials I have.

Fighting Cancer and Winning

FIGHTING CANCER AND WINNING

     Recently I visited the Kinuza Bridge in Mount Jewett, Pennsylvania.

The bridge was the longest, tallest viaduct in the world when it was made in 1882.  It was 301 feet tall!   It was a train bridge and carried many loads across the valley.   July 21, 2003 a tornado came through the area with winds of 112 mph.  The bridge could not withstand the gales and came tumbling down.  

     This is how I see cancer.  I felt strong and on top of the world one day, and then the phone call comes saying it is cancer.  You feel like the world is toppling down upon you. As you see the giant strong girders are crumbled on the ground, you do not have to stay there on the ground.  You can get up fighting!   

Today the bridge has been rebuilt .  Visitors can walk halfway across the once giant span.As you look down the tracks it appears to continue without an end.  That is how I am taking on life.  One day at a time.  We cannot know the future , but we can live for today.  The Lord has helped me through this year and I want to be a blessing to others.  

The glass walkway is scary to first walk on ,  but after you have the courage to stand on it, you find that  it is perfectly safe.   Cancer can be scary, but with courage and strength from the Lord, family , friends and doctors the fears will fade.   In future post, I will tell you about some of those experiences.  

Thanks for taking time to stop by . 

Cathy